Ballguard : A Revolutionary Advancement in Testicle Technology

 

Are you still powdering your balls like a pilgrim? If you’re still using messy and unsafe talcum powders, then we regret to inform you that the answer is yes you are. Look, we’ve moved on from the horse and buggy and the butter churner – it’s time for scrotal cleanliness to enter the world of modern convenience. Thankfully, Ballguard Liquid Powder is a revolutionary advancement in testicle technology that will change your life.  

 

 

One of our latest creations in a long line of funk-fighting innovation, Ballguard Liquid Powder is about as simple and effective as it gets. Simply drop trou, apply to your thighs and balls, wait a solid thirty seconds for the cream to transform into a silky powder, and you’re off. The lotion makes it so much easier to apply and cover only the areas you need to cover without looking like you just violated a chalkboard. Instead, you’ll be left with a thin layer of silky smoothness that reduces chafing and eliminates odor. No powdery leftovers, no Crisco thighs, no sticky suffocation, just perfectly refreshed balls (and thighs)!

 

Your Boys Deserve Safe Ingredients

We understand. If ever there’s a time to be a little conscientious about ingredients, it’s when those ingredients are going to be slathered all over your biscuits on a regular basis. For that reason, we made sure to use only safe, effective ingredients while leaving out the harsh additives. Let’s take a look at what our Ballguard Liquid Powder doesn’t contain first. 

What We Left Out

-Talcum Powder

-Alcohol

-Parabens

-Sulfates

-Synthetic Dyes

What We Put In

Water, Tapioca Starch, Propanediol "Zemea", Phenoxyethanol, Carborner, Ethylhexylglycerin, Aminomethyl propanol, Polysorbate-60, Xanthan Gum, Aloe Barbadensis, Leaf Juice, Coco-Caprylate/Caprate, Avena Sativa, Kernel Extract.

As always, Ballguard Liquid Powder is made in the USA, and it’s reinforced by a 30-Day Money Back Guarantee. We recommend using a quarter-sized amount of cream. Apply it to your palm, then rub hands together before applying to your balls, inner thighs, and wherever else you’d like to freshen up. 

 

 

Take Ballguard Liquid Powder Anywhere

Suffice it to say, there are some things that the 90-second shower between your workout at the gym and that interview just won’t get out. If you happen to notice with great dread that there’s a foulness burping out of your beltline as you’re rushing your way across town, there’s no need to panic. You can show up to that interview, or that date, or whatever else it is with the confidence that only a freshly renewed sac can provide. 

In fact, Ballguard Liquid Powder can be used in a dozen plus other ways, including:

-Longer formal events (weddings, ceremonies, etc.)

-Before workouts

-Plane rides

-Road trips

-Bike rides

-The construction yard

-At work or at school

-Camping, hiking, etc.

-After practice or workout

The number of ways and places in which you can apply Ballguard Liquid Powder is only limited by your imagination, friend. Update from the legal department: The applications are limited only by your imagination and federal laws prohibiting public nudity. Find a bathroom, experience the phase-shifting magic of this liquid powder for yourself, and emerge the sweet-smelling victor!  

Get Ballguard now!